i wish starbucks made bloody marys
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
