Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
