I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
