I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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