dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
