i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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