OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
