She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
