I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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