He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
