hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
