garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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