As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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