I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
