Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I can't turn off my feet"
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
