do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
