You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we made out on top of his cat.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
