I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
