I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
