if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
