Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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