She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
My bed smells like the plague
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize