i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Randomize
