I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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