Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
