Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You can't motorboat a personality
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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