marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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