I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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