I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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