Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
