Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
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