I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
