first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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