it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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