they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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