that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
