id be glad to
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize