so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
