The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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