Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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