So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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