Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
