Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
