I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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