Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize