Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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