I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize