it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
