Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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