Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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