trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
