I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
