Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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