So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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