he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
