If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My feet surprised me
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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