I should be sponsored by Trojan
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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