Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
