i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
