"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
