And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
