Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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