He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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