hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize