I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
