The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize