OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm getting married
To pizza
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
