There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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