with your own penis?
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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