We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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