Can Purell be used as lube?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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