We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
