THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
