dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize