Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
