Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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