I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Randomize
