Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize