I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
