I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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